I hope you've been examining these maxims from G. Washington's early development and applying them to your own life. I mean, that's why I've taken the time to put them here. As I said in my last post, it's our privilege and responsibility to improve and grow - at any age. As Orrin Woodward says, "Not everything that happens in life will be a bowl of cherries, but with greater understanding comes greater wisdom to live by." How are you doing at gaining greater understanding?
Here are the next 20:
(Ferry Farm, c. 1744)
61st Utter not base and frivilous things amongst grave and Learn'd Men nor very Difficult Questians or Subjects, among the Ignorant or things hard to be believed, Stuff not your Discourse with Sentences amongst your Betters nor Equals.
62nd Speak not of doleful Things in a Time of Mirth or at the Table; Speak not of Melancholy Things as Death and Wounds, and if others Mention them Change if you can the Discourse tell not your Dreams, but to your intimate Friend.
63rd A Man ought not to value himself of his Atchievements, or rare Qualities of wit; much less of his riches Virtue or Kindred.
64th Break not a Jest where none take pleasure in mirth Laugh not aloud, nor at all without Occasion, deride no mans Misfortune, tho' there Seem to be Some cause.
65th Speak not injurious Words neither in Jest nor Earnest Scoff at none although they give Occasion.
66th Be not froward but friendly and Courteous; the first to Salute hear and answer & be not Pensive when it's a time to Converse.
67th Detract not from others neither be excessive in Commanding.
68th Go not thither, where you know not, whether you Shall be Welcome or not. Give not Advice without being Ask'd and when desired do it briefly.
69th If two contend together take not the part of either unconstrained; and be not obstinate in your own Opinion, in Things indiferent be of the Major Side.
70th Reprehend not the imperfections of others for that belongs to Parents Masters and Superiours.
71st Gaze not on the marks or blemishes of Others and ask not how they came. What you may Speak in Secret to your Friend deliver not before others.
72nd Speak not in an unknown Tongue in Company but in your own Language and that as those of Quality do and not as the Vulgar; Sublime matters treat Seriously.
73rd Think before you Speak pronounce not imperfectly nor bring out your Words too hastily but orderly & distinctly.
74th When Another Speaks be attentive your Self and disturb not the Audience if any hesitate in his Words help him not nor Prompt him without desired, Interrupt him not, nor Answer him till his Speech be ended.
75th In the midst of Discourse ask [not of what one treateth] but if you Perceive any Stop because of your coming you may well intreat him gently to Proceed: If a Person of Quality comes in while your Conversing it's handsome to Repeat what was said before.
76th While you are talking, Point not with your Finger at him of Whom you Discourse nor Approach too near him to whom you talk especially to his face.
77th Treat with men at fit Times about Business & Whisper not in the Company of Others.
78th Make no Comparisons and if any of the Company be Commended for any brave act of Vertue, commend not another for the Same.
79th Be not apt to relate News if you know not the truth thereof. In Discoursing of things you Have heard Name not your Author always A Secret Discover not.
80th Be not Tedious in Discourse or in reading unless you find the Company pleased therewith.
Now, go back and read #s 65-70 and 73 again. I'll bet you know some folks who break #65 all the time - tearing people down with a snide comment and then defending themselves by saying they were "just kidding". Let me ask this: do you like being around them or being the target of their put-downs? No? Then do something about it!
Basic people skills like these are sadly lacking in most of our socializing aren't they? Well, why not decide to be the pattern breaker? Yeah - YOU!
I recommend that you read Orrin Woodward and Chris Brady's best selling book, "Launching a Leadership Revolution", particularly the section on servant leadership in the Level Three chapter. By the way, that chapter ends with a fascinating story about George Washington's servant leadership. Read that, and reflect back on these maxims that he made a part of his life.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
George Washington - the next 20!
Here are the next twenty maxims of George Washington's "Rules of Civility and Decent Behaviour in Company and Conversation". Enjoy!
(Ferry Farm, c. 1744)
41st Undertake not to Teach your equal in the art himself Proffesses; it Savours of arrogancy.
42nd Let thy ceremonies in Courtesie be proper to the Dignity of his place [with whom thou conversest for it is absurd to act the same with a Clown and a Prince.
43rd Do not express Joy before one sick or in pain for that contrary Passion will aggravate his Misery.
44th When a man does all he can though it Succeeds not well blame not him that did it.
45th Being to advise or reprehend any one, consider whether it ought to be in publick or in Private; presently, or at Some other time in what terms to do it & in reproving Shew no Sign of Cholar but do it with all Sweetness and Mildness.
46th Take all Admonitions thankfully in what Time or Place Soever given but afterwards not being culpable take a Time and Place convenient to let him him know it that gave them.
47th Mock not nor Jest at any thing of Importance break no Jest that are Sharp Biting and if you Deliver any thing witty and Pleasent abtain from Laughing thereat yourself.
48th Wherein you reprove Another be unblameable yourself; for example is more prevalent than Precepts.
49th Use no Reproachfull Language against any one neither Curse nor Revile.
50th Be not hasty to beleive flying Reports to the Disparagement of any.
51st Wear not your Cloths, foul, unript or Dusty but See they be Brush'd once every day at least and take heed that you approach not to any Uncleaness.
52nd In your Apparel be Modest and endeavour to accomodate Nature, rather than to procure Admiration keep to the Fashion of your equals Such as are Civil and orderly with respect to Times and Places.
53rd Run not in the Streets, neither go too s]owly nor with Mouth open go not Shaking yr Arms kick not the earth with yr feet, go not upon the Toes, nor in a Dancing fashion.
54th Play not the Peacock, looking every where about you, to See if you be well Deck't, if your Shoes fit well if your Stokings sit neatly, and Cloths handsomely.
55th Eat not in the Streets, nor in the House, out of Season.
56th Associate yourself with Men of good Quality if you Esteem your own Reputation; for 'tis better to be alone than in bad Company.
57th In walking up and Down in a House, only with One in Company if he be Greater than yourself, at the first give him the Right hand and Stop not till he does and be not the first that turns, and when you do turn let it be with your face towards him, if he be a Man of Great Quality, walk not with him Cheek by Joul but Somewhat behind him; but yet in Such a Manner that he may easily Speak to you.
58th Let your Conversation be without Malice or Envy, for 'tis a Sign of a Tractable and Commendable Nature: And in all Causes of Passion admit Reason to Govern.
59th Never express anything unbecoming, nor Act against the Rules Moral before your inferiours.
60th Be not immodest in urging your Friends to Discover a Secret.
How about #56? And #58 and #59? I mean, they're all good, but some really stand out, don't they? For a bit different look at numbers 58 & 59 - which really speak to being pleasant around people, take the time to read Chris Brady's post of January 5th.
Remember as you read these, that Washington took them seriously enough to write down and follow at a young age. They had a major impact on his character development and his character was the foundation of his leadership abilities.
Our country is at a crossroads today. What do you think Washington would make of the professional politicians whose greed and lack of character have put us in this position? Remember that you have the power through your vote to change the cast of characters in Washington DC. You have the privilege and responsibility to educate yourself - to seek the truth and then do something about it. If you love this country and care about your children and grandchildren, here's a good place to start.
(Ferry Farm, c. 1744)
41st Undertake not to Teach your equal in the art himself Proffesses; it Savours of arrogancy.
42nd Let thy ceremonies in Courtesie be proper to the Dignity of his place [with whom thou conversest for it is absurd to act the same with a Clown and a Prince.
43rd Do not express Joy before one sick or in pain for that contrary Passion will aggravate his Misery.
44th When a man does all he can though it Succeeds not well blame not him that did it.
45th Being to advise or reprehend any one, consider whether it ought to be in publick or in Private; presently, or at Some other time in what terms to do it & in reproving Shew no Sign of Cholar but do it with all Sweetness and Mildness.
46th Take all Admonitions thankfully in what Time or Place Soever given but afterwards not being culpable take a Time and Place convenient to let him him know it that gave them.
47th Mock not nor Jest at any thing of Importance break no Jest that are Sharp Biting and if you Deliver any thing witty and Pleasent abtain from Laughing thereat yourself.
48th Wherein you reprove Another be unblameable yourself; for example is more prevalent than Precepts.
49th Use no Reproachfull Language against any one neither Curse nor Revile.
50th Be not hasty to beleive flying Reports to the Disparagement of any.
51st Wear not your Cloths, foul, unript or Dusty but See they be Brush'd once every day at least and take heed that you approach not to any Uncleaness.
52nd In your Apparel be Modest and endeavour to accomodate Nature, rather than to procure Admiration keep to the Fashion of your equals Such as are Civil and orderly with respect to Times and Places.
53rd Run not in the Streets, neither go too s]owly nor with Mouth open go not Shaking yr Arms kick not the earth with yr feet, go not upon the Toes, nor in a Dancing fashion.
54th Play not the Peacock, looking every where about you, to See if you be well Deck't, if your Shoes fit well if your Stokings sit neatly, and Cloths handsomely.
55th Eat not in the Streets, nor in the House, out of Season.
56th Associate yourself with Men of good Quality if you Esteem your own Reputation; for 'tis better to be alone than in bad Company.
57th In walking up and Down in a House, only with One in Company if he be Greater than yourself, at the first give him the Right hand and Stop not till he does and be not the first that turns, and when you do turn let it be with your face towards him, if he be a Man of Great Quality, walk not with him Cheek by Joul but Somewhat behind him; but yet in Such a Manner that he may easily Speak to you.
58th Let your Conversation be without Malice or Envy, for 'tis a Sign of a Tractable and Commendable Nature: And in all Causes of Passion admit Reason to Govern.
59th Never express anything unbecoming, nor Act against the Rules Moral before your inferiours.
60th Be not immodest in urging your Friends to Discover a Secret.
How about #56? And #58 and #59? I mean, they're all good, but some really stand out, don't they? For a bit different look at numbers 58 & 59 - which really speak to being pleasant around people, take the time to read Chris Brady's post of January 5th.
Remember as you read these, that Washington took them seriously enough to write down and follow at a young age. They had a major impact on his character development and his character was the foundation of his leadership abilities.
Our country is at a crossroads today. What do you think Washington would make of the professional politicians whose greed and lack of character have put us in this position? Remember that you have the power through your vote to change the cast of characters in Washington DC. You have the privilege and responsibility to educate yourself - to seek the truth and then do something about it. If you love this country and care about your children and grandchildren, here's a good place to start.
Monday, January 04, 2010
Happy New Year! Here are the next ten maxims of George Washington's "Rules of Civility and Decent Behaviour in Company and Conversation". I hope you enjoy them!
(Ferry Farm, c. 1744)
21st Reproach none for the infirmities of Nature, nor Delight to Put them that have in mind thereof.
22nd Shew not yourself glad at the Misfortune of another though he were your enemy.
23rd When you see a Crime punished, you may be inwardly Pleased; but always shew Pity to the Suffering Offender.
24th Do not laugh too loud or too much at any Publick Spectacle.
25th Superfluous Complements and all Affectation of Ceremonie are to be avoided, yet where due they are not to be Neglected.
26th In Pulling off your Hat to Persons of Distinction, as Noblemen, Justices, Churchmen &c make a Reverence, bowing more or less according to the Custom of the Better Bred, and Quality of the Person. Amongst your equals expect not always that they Should begin with you first, but to Pull off the Hat when there is no need is Affectation, in the Manner of Saluting and resaluting in words keep to the most usual Custom.
27th Tis ill manners to bid one more eminent than yourself be covered as well as not to do it to whom it's due Likewise he that makes too much haste to Put on his hat does not well, yet he ought to Put it on at the first, or at most the Second time of being ask'd; now what is herein Spoken, of Qualification in behaviour in Saluting, ought also to be observed in taking of Place, and Sitting down for ceremonies without Bounds is troublesome.
(I must admit some confusion with regard to #27! I'm sure if we had been around 200 years ago, someone would have made it clear to us as to when we could put our hats back on.)
28th If any one come to Speak to you while you are Sitting Stand up tho he be your Inferiour, and when you Present Seats let it be to every one according to his Degree.
29th When you meet with one of Greater Quality than yourself, Stop, and retire especially if it be at a Door or any Straight place to give way for him to Pass.
30th In walking the highest Place in most Countrys Seems to be on the right hand therefore Place yourself on the left of him whom you desire to Honour: but if three walk together the mid[dest] Place is the most Honourable the wall is usually given to the most worthy if two walk together.
3st If any one far Surpassess others, either in age, Estate, or Merit [yet] would give Place to a meaner than himself in his own lodging or elsewhere the one ought not to except it, So he on the other part should not use much earnestness nor offer] it above once or twice.
32nd: To one that is your equal, or not much inferior you are to give the cheif Place in your Lodging and he to who 'tis offered ought at the first to refuse it but at the Second to accept though not without acknowledging his own unworthiness.
33rd They that are in Dignity or in office have in all places Preceedency but whilst they are Young they ought to respect those that are their equals in Birth or other Qualitys, though they have no Publick charge.
34th It is good Manners to prefer them to whom we Speak before ourselves especially if they be above us with whom in no Sort we ought to begin.
35th Let your Discourse with Men of Business be Short and Comprehensive.
36th Artificers & Persons of low Degree ought not to use many ceremonies to Lords, or Others of high Degree but Respect and highly Honour them, and those of high Degree ought to treat them with affibility & Courtesie, without Arrogancy.
37th In Speaking to men of Quality do not lean nor Look them full in the Face, nor approach too near them at lest Keep a full Pace from them.
38th In visiting the Sick, do not Presently play the Physicion if you be not Knowing therein.
39th In writing or Speaking, give to every Person his due Title According to his Degree & the Custom of the Place.
40th Strive not with your Superiers in argument, but always Submit your Judgment to others with Modesty.
What a great one to end this post! I wish each of the politicians we have in office today would act with a measure of humility rather than lashing out when anyone dares oppose them - which marks them as having very little emotional intelligence (or should I just leave it as "little intelligence"? Yeah, I think I'll stick with that)
Now, if any of you had a thought of perhaps incorporating any of these into your New Year Resolutions, You might want to take a look at Chris Brady's New Years Eve post on his blog! Good Stuff! And while you're at it, check out Orrin Woodward's New Years Eve post as well.
And, if you're at all interested in any of our first President's other personal papers or documents, here's a good place to start.
(Ferry Farm, c. 1744)
21st Reproach none for the infirmities of Nature, nor Delight to Put them that have in mind thereof.
22nd Shew not yourself glad at the Misfortune of another though he were your enemy.
23rd When you see a Crime punished, you may be inwardly Pleased; but always shew Pity to the Suffering Offender.
24th Do not laugh too loud or too much at any Publick Spectacle.
25th Superfluous Complements and all Affectation of Ceremonie are to be avoided, yet where due they are not to be Neglected.
26th In Pulling off your Hat to Persons of Distinction, as Noblemen, Justices, Churchmen &c make a Reverence, bowing more or less according to the Custom of the Better Bred, and Quality of the Person. Amongst your equals expect not always that they Should begin with you first, but to Pull off the Hat when there is no need is Affectation, in the Manner of Saluting and resaluting in words keep to the most usual Custom.
27th Tis ill manners to bid one more eminent than yourself be covered as well as not to do it to whom it's due Likewise he that makes too much haste to Put on his hat does not well, yet he ought to Put it on at the first, or at most the Second time of being ask'd; now what is herein Spoken, of Qualification in behaviour in Saluting, ought also to be observed in taking of Place, and Sitting down for ceremonies without Bounds is troublesome.
(I must admit some confusion with regard to #27! I'm sure if we had been around 200 years ago, someone would have made it clear to us as to when we could put our hats back on.)
28th If any one come to Speak to you while you are Sitting Stand up tho he be your Inferiour, and when you Present Seats let it be to every one according to his Degree.
29th When you meet with one of Greater Quality than yourself, Stop, and retire especially if it be at a Door or any Straight place to give way for him to Pass.
30th In walking the highest Place in most Countrys Seems to be on the right hand therefore Place yourself on the left of him whom you desire to Honour: but if three walk together the mid[dest] Place is the most Honourable the wall is usually given to the most worthy if two walk together.
3st If any one far Surpassess others, either in age, Estate, or Merit [yet] would give Place to a meaner than himself in his own lodging or elsewhere the one ought not to except it, So he on the other part should not use much earnestness nor offer] it above once or twice.
32nd: To one that is your equal, or not much inferior you are to give the cheif Place in your Lodging and he to who 'tis offered ought at the first to refuse it but at the Second to accept though not without acknowledging his own unworthiness.
33rd They that are in Dignity or in office have in all places Preceedency but whilst they are Young they ought to respect those that are their equals in Birth or other Qualitys, though they have no Publick charge.
34th It is good Manners to prefer them to whom we Speak before ourselves especially if they be above us with whom in no Sort we ought to begin.
35th Let your Discourse with Men of Business be Short and Comprehensive.
36th Artificers & Persons of low Degree ought not to use many ceremonies to Lords, or Others of high Degree but Respect and highly Honour them, and those of high Degree ought to treat them with affibility & Courtesie, without Arrogancy.
37th In Speaking to men of Quality do not lean nor Look them full in the Face, nor approach too near them at lest Keep a full Pace from them.
38th In visiting the Sick, do not Presently play the Physicion if you be not Knowing therein.
39th In writing or Speaking, give to every Person his due Title According to his Degree & the Custom of the Place.
40th Strive not with your Superiers in argument, but always Submit your Judgment to others with Modesty.
What a great one to end this post! I wish each of the politicians we have in office today would act with a measure of humility rather than lashing out when anyone dares oppose them - which marks them as having very little emotional intelligence (or should I just leave it as "little intelligence"? Yeah, I think I'll stick with that)
Now, if any of you had a thought of perhaps incorporating any of these into your New Year Resolutions, You might want to take a look at Chris Brady's New Years Eve post on his blog! Good Stuff! And while you're at it, check out Orrin Woodward's New Years Eve post as well.
And, if you're at all interested in any of our first President's other personal papers or documents, here's a good place to start.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)